Dating Advice

Bring Your Own “Hooka” – Ten Worst Dating Ideas

Ten Worst Dating ideas and humorous ways to get home early.

Ten Worst Dating ideas and humorous ways to get home early.

Couples'_16621721235_lIt all starts off nice enough, he opens the door for you to get into the car. He turns and smiles at you as he turns the key in the ignition. Then he announces he wants to stop at a local Hookah Bar, “to show you off to his friends”. Red flag – Whew, you check your little bag to see if you have cab fare, and it’s there.

What are your choices for getting out of this situation gracefully, avoiding further embarrassment?

10) Excuse yourself to go to the restroom. When the other women have left the room, call a taxi. Or, call a friend and ask them to call you in ten minutes. Using the call as an excuse that you must go, and bolt for the door.

9) “Accidentally” spill a drink on your date. When he leaves to dry off, text your best friend and insist she/he comes to the Hooka Bar to rescue you. Spend some time in the restroom to avoid your “overly friendly” date.

8) Order a dinner heavy on the onions and garlic. You’ll get a clue if he begins to protest, but go ahead anyway. You’ll be able to cool him off with your breath at least until you get someone to rescue you.

7) Mention about every ten minutes that you have to get home to your kids. You may have to exaggerate a bit, say you have so many kids, that one of them is always getting sick. If you want to be really distasteful you can describe in detail how one of them threw up on your outfit so you had to change before he came to pick you

6) Date takes you to a Hooka Party at a friend’s house. This could get tricky, if you have a cell-phone with you, perhaps you can hide out in the bathroom. Try to get in touch with a friend, or at best a designated driver volunteer. You’ll probably have to pretend you are drunk for the entire ride. You may also be in for a lecture about drinking limits and even getting some help from al-anon.

5) Hooka Parties on the beach. Ok, so you’ve noticed your date has set up a blanket and some candles in the sand an inappropriately far distance from the main party. It’s your first date with this guy and he has already tried to slobber all over you twice. Time to call in the A-Team for a beach rescue.

4) Accepted a Hooka Bar invitation from a guy at the office. When you get there, you recognize no one. You ask where the other co-workers are and he just laughs. This will not end well. At least you’ll get an ROI on those self-defense classes you took for three years!

3) This rarely happens, he pulls the already prepared Hooka out of his back seat and begins to light the charcoal in the middle of nowhere! You pull out your pepper spray and suggest he drives you home immediately. As he gingerly places his four-foot tall Hooka back into the rear seat, you can’t help trying to imagine what a second date would be like in this guy’s head.

2) As the two of you walk into the Hooka Bar, two belly dancers run up to him smiling and pretty much jump him. They follow you to your table and sit on either side of him. He protests all the way home that they were just friends of a friend.

1) You didn’t notice until you’re almost at the Hooka Bar that your date appears to be high. No worries, about ten minutes after you get the Hooka going at your table he slides down on to the booth and stretches out for a nap. Luckily, the couple at the next table are leaving and offer you a ride home.