Relationship Advice

How to Decide if You Should Get Back Together with Your Ex

The relationship is over, but your feelings haven't died. In the immediate emotional aftermath of a breakup, it can be tough to think about living life without your ex. However, if you've decided a few months or even longer after the split that your ex is the one for you, it may be time to consider if you should get back together with your ex. These tips will allow you to determine if it's the right move and how to go about getting a second chance.

Paris, May 2014 - 010_14244062795_lThe relationship is over, but your feelings haven’t died. In the immediate emotional aftermath of a breakup, it can be tough to think about living life without your ex. However, if you’ve decided a few months or even longer after the split that your ex is the one for you, it may be time to consider if you should get back together with your ex. These tips will allow you to determine if it’s the right move and how to go about getting a second chance.

8. Give Yourself Time

As mentioned, right after a breakup, you are probably going to be devastated. This person was a big part of your life, and now you have to go on without them. Naturally, right after being dumped or even doing the dumping, you may want your ex back so everything should continue as it has. This isn’t the time to decide if getting back together is right. Give yourself a few weeks or even months to live without your ex and then see how you feel.

7. Think It Through

During this time, assess yourself and your feelings. Naturally, you will probably miss your ex for a while. However, consider whether or not your life would be genuinely enriched if they were back in it. While the opinion of your friends and family shouldn’t matter, you will have to consider how they will feel about you two getting back together and what kind of reception that you’ll receive.

6. Get in Touch

Once you’ve decided that getting back with your ex is what you want, reach out to them. You can send a short text or an email or even dive right in and call them. If they’ve blocked contact from you or still seem angry, hurt, or bitter, it’s probably not the best time for a reconciliation. Give them time to cool off. However, if you get a neutral or even positive reaction, proceed.

5. Establish Good Contact

If you have a decent conversation going, don’t linger too long and let it grow stale. Continue to establish good contact regularly. You may want to reach out weekly or biweekly at first, but if contact continues to progress smoothly, move to daily communications. Avoid talking about the breakup right now or bringing up negative feelings. Keep the talks light.

4. Set up a Date

Eventually, if you and your ex are chatting pretty regularly and feeling good about each other, ask them out on a date. Even after a long string of communication, they could still decline. Try to figure out the reason for your ex’s apprehensions and address them to the best of your abilities.

3. State Your Intentions

While you’re out with your ex, state your intentions fully. Talk about what caused the breakup and tell them that you want to get back together. Try not to get too emotional at this point, as it could overwhelm your ex. Now is the time where they will tell you plainly whether or not they want to get back together. If they don’t, you can try to convince them why it would be a good idea, but if they don’t see eye-to-eye, it’s time to let it go and move on.

2. Don’t Rush

However, if your ex does decide to start another relationship with you, don’t rush. You two may have been in a relationship before, but the time that you two spent apart changed the both of you. Take some time to get to know the new them, to let them get to know the new you, and to figure out a new dynamic. There’s no need to make the relationship official right away. Go on dates first and ease into it.

1. Make Sure Change Occurs

Some reason caused your original breakup. In order for your relationship to succeed the second time around, that reason must be eliminated. By now, you’ve addressed the reason, so whoever was responsible must make sure that this reason doesn’t cause trouble again.

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